Forwarded Stuff that Supposedly Influenced My Life

Neck Exercise

2011-08-19T06:56:00.000+09:00

Neck exercise

Do it, it's very good work out, feel better after reading.

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

2011-08-18T07:08:00.001+09:00

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they're well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I've never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They're useful. In this tech-savvy world, it's great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They're more romantic than they're given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like 'em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like 'em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They've got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it'll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they're more attentive than guys who "have more options". Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they'll likely have mental lists of all the things they'd love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I'm not really familiar with this myself, but I've friends who've been intimate with geek guys and it's raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They're relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you're not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won't have to worry much about your geek guy getting his "groove" on with club hotties because, frankly, he'll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won't have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he'll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I've seen this happen.
Me: "Eww. Victoria Secret's Models... They're so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!"
Geek Guy: "ooooooo..."
Me: "Hey!" *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: "What?"
Me: "Never mind..."

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you'll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he'll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn't want to go someplace with you, you won't have to worry much about what he's up to. You'll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It's ok. He's used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren't jerks. I can't stress this enough. You'll more likely get "Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!" than "Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on..." They're awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They're rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won't care. He does too! They won't get pissy if you don't wear make-up or don't want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won't try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They're usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won't have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he'll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You'll almost never have to hear, "Yaw dawg whazzap!!" plop out of their mouths. Unless it's in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get "wasted", so you won't have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that's a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than "DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!" Believe me.

When I Grow Up

2011-08-18T05:46:00.001+09:00

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Alligator Shoes

2011-08-18T05:38:00.001+09:00

A blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde declared, 'Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, 'Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try? The blonde headed off to the swamp,determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead alligators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, 'SHIT!........ THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!

The Type of Co-workers You Hate

2007-12-10T15:35:00.001+09:00

Too Legit To Quit, But I Wish You Would

by Jen and Tonic (writer), December 7, 2007, published in BrooWaha San Francisco

To kill, or not to kill our co-workers? THAT is the question.

Working is a vital necessity in today's world, and we all need the money to survive. Whenever we start a job we are thrown into a world consisting of people, rules, and information that existed even before we got there. Sometimes these are people or things which, in our regular lives, would never cross our paths. It is hard to deal with these things on a consistent basis because we would normally walk away from them when given a choice otherwise. One of the most common frustrations is the dreaded obnoxious co-worker.

Let's face it, we all had those one or two office characters that make us want to laugh, cry or punch the nearest wall. I have dedicated this article to all of the mentally unstable people that I have ever worked with over time. I have listed my favorites in no particular order. I am sure many of you will be able to relate.

(1) The Ghetto Girl: Oh, how I hated you. It wasn't your weave with the tracks showing, or your too tight pants that allowed your double muffin top to spill over. It wasn't how you watched "The Cookout" on a mini-dvd player, or chewed off your fake nails during work hours that got to me either. It was your overly loud voice that broadcasted your business and dispensed unsolicited advice that really drove me insane. I don't "need to go to da club" or "gets a baby daddy" like you said I did. I didn't want to know how "T'shante from around the way laid it down like a pimp with a strong hand" over the weekend. Sure, he was "bangin' in his White T" but do I care? NO! Get back to work and, for the love of all things holy, please stop trying to order bootleg 20-inch rims over the phone from a cousin of a friend of a
friend.

(2) The Mentally Unstable Guy: I feel badly that you have some sort of chemical imbalance in that head of yours. What I do not feel badly about is how you get psychotic at the drop of a hat. It's unfortunate that you incorrectly filed away the paperwork, and that I had to remind you of how we do things around here. It is also unfortunate how you got in my face and threatened to kick my ass when I told you. I was willing to let it go, but after you threw a temper tantrum when someone used a blue post-it instead of the standard yellow, I knew you had to go. I did like how that vein bulged out of your head though, and you did teach me curse words I had never heard before. I kind of miss you now that I think about it. I doubt your three ex-wives feel the same way.

(3) The Oversexed Nympho: My god! Just looking at you could send someone's hormones into such a frenzy that they would have to fight off the urge to hump the nearest inanimate object. Your suggestive remarks and constant butt-slapping wouldn't bother me as much if the President of the company wasn't standing right behind us. That skirt you wore last week? I am pretty sure I could see your ovaries it was so short. I must thank you though for teaching me about what a "Donkey Punch" "Red Wing" and "Shocker" were. I just thank my lucky stars that you told me verbally, and did not make a PowerPoint presentation when educating me on these things.

(4) The Complainer: I don't particularly love coming to work every single day either. Sometimes the rules don't make sense, and it sucks that the coffee they serve in the break room tastes like flavored chalk. This doesn't give you the right to complain every single second you are in the workplace. You have taken being a disgruntled employee to a whole new level. The only thing you haven't complained about yet is the fact that you are completely and utterly useless. If making stupid mistakes was an Olympic sport, you'd be a gold medalist for sure. Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Man up already!

(5) The Smelly Dude: Uh, the makers of Lever 2000 called, and they told me that all of your 2000 parts stink. There is so much body odor in your area it smells like a junior high locker room on a hot summer day. Let's put it this way: I'd rather get trapped in a room filled with the farts from someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome than be around you for ten seconds. If you don't remove Mt. Dandruff from your desk anytime soon I am sure the Department of Sanitation is going to shut us down.

(6) The Pervert: I could catch an STD just by looking in your direction. You undress everyone with your eyes, and say inappropriate things thinking you're being smooth. I am not sure if it is the soft, slow voice you speak in, or that you twist your abundant chest hair while making conversation, but everything you do redefines being creepy. Also, those serial killer glasses you sport have got to go. I'm pretty sure that when you die the cops will find dead bodies underneath your house.

(7) The Control Freak: I didn't realize that I needed to get your permission to breathe, go to the bathroom, or daydream about the hot UPS guy. You seem to know everything about everything, and any rule you did not invent is idiotic and couldn't possibly work. Who cares if your micromanaging screws everything up? Who cares if your daily rants and miniature breakdowns cause people to feel on edge constantly? Who cares that you are single-handedly running your company into the ground? This is your world and we're just living in it!

(8) The Wimp: Stop letting everyone treat you like a redheaded stepchild. I love how your subordinates talk down to you, and make you play by their rules. I wish you were my boss so I could walk all over you like a cheap doormat. I imagine it cannot be easy to stand upright when you don't even have a spine. I have some advice for you: grow a pair already!

(9) The Lazy Girl: Are you allergic to work? If so, I would be willing to let it go that you hardly show up for work, or that you don't even do anything once you are here. If it's a medical condition I can't fault you for that. Somehow I just don't think that's the case. You've missed more days than you've actually worked, and when you do come in you complain about how you need a vacation. I am pretty sure that the last time I looked up the word sloth in the dictionary your name was next to it. Actually, I don't think any of the seven deadly sins want to be associated with you.

(10) The Chronically-Ill Guy: You get a cold and all of a sudden you've come down with the bird flu. You've got a headache but you're certain that it's actually a brain aneurysm in the works. These small things don't concern you, but your terrible smokers' cough and crapping yourself regularly don't seem to bother you. Oh, and don't think that we haven't noticed those "irish coffees" you've been drinking in the morning. Tequila and coffee? Classy. I can't even bear to think of what your liver and lungs look like. If they look anything like your teeth, I don't want to know.

Oh co-workers, we've had some good times over the years. There have been days when I have wanted to give my two weeks notice because of you, and other days when your antics are the only thing getting me through the week. I want to thank you for the endless frustration and laughs, and for being the subject of my latest Broo article.

10 Types of Programmers in the Field

2007-11-20T16:46:00.001+09:00

#1: Gandalf
This programmer type looks like a short-list candidate to play Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings. He (or even she!) has a beard halfway to his knees, a goofy looking hat, and may wear a cape or a cloak in the winter. Luckily for the team, this person is just as adept at working magic as Gandalf. Unluckily for the team, they will need to endure hours of stories from Gandalf about how he or she to walk uphill both ways in the snow to drop off the punch cards at the computer room. The Gandalf type is your heaviest hitter, but you try to leave them in the rear and call them up only in times of desperation.

#2: The Martyr
In any other profession, The Martyr is simply a "workaholic." But in the development field, The Martyr goes beyond that and into another dimension. Workaholics at least go home to shower and sleep. The Martyr takes pride in sleeping at the desk amidst empty pizza boxes. The problem is, no one ever asked The Martyr to work like this. And he or she tries to guilt-trip the rest of the team with phrases like, "Yeah, go home and enjoy dinner. I'll finish up the next three week's worth of code tonight."

#3: Fanboy
Watch out for Fanboy. If he or she corners you, you're in for a three-hour lecture about the superiority of Dragonball Z compared to Gundam Wing, or why the Playstation 3 is better than the XB 360. Fanboy's workspace is filled with posters, action figures, and other knick-knacks related to some obsession, most likely imported from Japan. Not only are Fanboys obnoxious to deal with, they often put so much time into the obsession (both in and out of the office) that they have no clue when it comes to doing what they were hired to do.

#4: Vince Neil
This 40-something is a throwback to 1984 in all of the wrong ways. Sporting big hair, ripped stonewashed jeans, and a bandana here or there, Vince sits in the office humming Bon Jovi and Def Leppard tunes throughout the workday. This would not be so bad if "Pour Some Sugar on Me" was not so darned infectious.
Vince is generally a fun person to work with, and actually has a ton of experience, but just never grew up. But Vince becomes a hassle when he or she tries living the rock 'n roll lifestyle to go with the hair and hi-tops. It's fairly hard to work with someone who carries a hangover to work every day.

#5: The Ninja
The Ninja is your team's MVP, and no one knows it. Like the legendary assassins, you do not know that The Ninja is even in the building or working, but you discover the evidence in the morning. You fire up the source control system and see that at 4 AM, The Ninja checked in code that addresses the problem you planned to spend all week working on, and you did not even know that The Ninja was aware of the project! See, while you were in Yet Another Meeting, The Ninja was working.
Ninjas are so stealthy, you might not even know their name, but you know that every project they're on seems to go much more smoothly. Tread carefully, though. The Ninja is a lone warrior; don't try to force him or her to work with rank and file.

#6: The Theoretician
The Theoretician knows everything there is to know about programming. He or she can spend four hours lecturing about the history of an obscure programming language or providing a proof of how the code you wrote is less than perfectly optimal and may take an extra three nanoseconds to run. The problem is, The Theoretician does not know a thing about software development. When The Theoretician writes code, it is so "elegant" that mere mortals cannot make sense of it. His or her favorite technique is recursion, and every block of code is tweaked to the max, at the expense of timelines and readability.
The Theoretician is also easily distracted. A simple task that should take an hour takes Theoreticians three months, since they decide that the existing tools are not sufficient and they must build new tools to build new libraries to build a whole new system that meets their high standards. The Theoretician can be turned into one of your best players, if you can get him or her to play within the boundaries of the project itself and stop spending time working on The Ultimate Sorting Algorithm.

#7: The Code Cowboy
The Code Cowboy is a force of nature that cannot be stopped. He or she is almost always a great programmer and can do work two or three times faster than anyone else. The problem is, at least half of that speed comes by cutting corners. The Code Cowboy feels that checking code into source control takes too long, storing configuration data outside of the code itself takes too long, communicating with anyone else takes too long… you get the idea.
The Code Cowboy's code is a spaghetti code mess, because he or she was working so quickly that the needed refactoring never happened. Chances are, seven pages' worth of core functionality looks like the "don't do this" example of a programming textbook, but it magically works. The Code Cowboy definitely does not play well with others. And if you put two Code Cowboys on the same project, it is guaranteed to fail, as they trample on each other's changes and shoot each other in the foot.
Put a Code Cowboy on a project where hitting the deadline is more important than doing it right, and the code will be done just before deadline every time. The Code Cowboy is really just a loud, boisterous version of The Ninja. While The Ninja executes with surgical precision, The Code Cowboy is a raging bull and will gore anything that gets in the way.

#8: The Paratrooper
You know those movies where a sole commando is air-dropped deep behind enemy lines and comes out with the secret battle plans? That person in a software development shop is The Paratrooper. The Paratrooper is the last resort programmer you send in to save a dying project. Paratroopers lack the patience to work on a long-term assignment, but their best asset is an uncanny ability to learn an unfamiliar codebase and work within it. Other programmers might take weeks or months to learn enough about a project to effectively work on it; The Paratrooper takes hours or days. Paratroopers might not learn enough to work on the core of the code, but the lack of ramp-up time means that they can succeed where an entire team might fail.

#9: Mediocre Man
"Good enough" is the best you will ever get from Mediocre Man. Don't let the name fool you; there are female varieties of Mediocre Man too. And he or she always takes longer to produce worse code than anyone else on the team. "Slow and steady barely finishes the race" could describe Mediocre Man's projects. But Mediocre Man is always just "good enough" to remain employed.
When you interview this type, they can tell you a lot about the projects they've been involved with but not much about their actual involvement. Filtering out the Mediocre Man type is fairly easy: Ask for actual details of the work they've done, and they suddenly get a case of amnesia. Let them into your organization, though, and it might take years to get rid of them.

#10: The Evangelist
No matter what kind of environment you have, The Evangelist insists that it can be improved by throwing away all of your tools and processes and replacing them with something else. The Evangelist is actually the opposite of The Theoretician. The Evangelist is outspoken, knows an awful lot about software development, but performs very little actual programming.
The Evangelist is secretly a project manager or department manager at heart but lacks the knowledge or experience to make the jump. So until The Evangelist is able to get into a purely managerial role, everyone else needs to put up with his or her attempts to revolutionize the workplace.

Somewhere - Britain's Got Talent

2007-11-13T11:30:00.000+09:00

Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic

2007-11-13T11:08:00.001+09:00

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Feminine guys better for long-term love: study

2007-08-17T00:49:00.000+09:00

LONDON (AFP) - Women see masculine-looking men as more unsuitable long-term partners but men with more feminine features are seen as more committed and less likely to stray, researchers said Wednesday.

Scientists at the universities of Durham and St Andrews came to the conclusion by asking more than 400 British men and women to make judgments on character after looking at digitally-altered pictures of men's faces.

The web-based test asked participants to rate the face for traits such as dominance, ambition, wealth, faithfulness, commitment, parenting skills, and warmth.

Men with square jaws, larger noses and smaller eyes were classed as significantly more dominant, less faithful, worse parents and as having less warm personalities.

Those with finer facial features, fuller lips, wide eyes and thinner, more curved eyebrows on the other hand were viewed as a better bet for long-term relationships.

And healthier-looking faces, for example those with better complexions, were seen as more desirable in terms of all personality traits compared to those who looked unhealthy.

Older faces were also generally viewed more positively compared to younger ones.

The scientists said there was a "high amount of agreement" between women about what they see in terms of personality when seeing a man's face and they may well use their impression to decide whether or not to engage with him.

"That decision-making process all depends on what a woman is looking for in a relationship at that time of her life," said Lynda Boothroyd, from Durham Universitys Department of Psychology.

Her colleague, David Perrett from St Andrews, said: "Our results contradict claims that machismo denotes fitness and disease immunity. Masculinity may buy you dominance but not necessarily tip top physical condition.

"Instead women see a healthy guy as the source of wealth, and fit for family life."

The research is published in the latest edition of the journal "Personality and Individual Differences".

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes

2007-08-16T16:54:00.000+09:00

In an earlier column titled “Practical Wisdom,” I posted simple but profound and very helpful advice and observations from relatives, friends and acquaintances. I got a lot of responses and so I thought I should share some more.

This batch includes precious wisdom I remember from books, from my readers, and from friends in my mailing list. Some of them are quite unique. Here’s more practical wisdom:

• When Mommy is not happy, no one is happy.

I got this from my brother Jake who simply adores his wife. In many homes, Mom is the center of the universe, and her comfort or happiness index is the true barometer of peace and warmth in the house. I know some readers may feel that such a guideline would tend to “baby” wives and mothers too much, but I sense most husbands and sons would appreciate the wisdom in keeping their wives and mothers happy. The center, after all, has to hold.

To the women who are reading this, consider yourselves lucky if your spouses adhere to such wisdom. And appreciate him since he is a man who knows how to appreciate you, and how to keep the peace!

• A person who is aroused has no conscience.

Actually, my high school friend Kenny’s father put it more crudely than that. After struggling with an attempt to explain the birds and the bees to his precocious son, hemming and hawing as he tried to sound dispassionately scientific, he simply blurted it all out in a simple sentence. Succinctly but with great clarity, and while wiping off his heavy perspiration, he advised Kenny: “Son, remember this. An aroused prick has no conscience.”

• You can’t plant a tree in the morning and expect it to bear fruit the next day.

I first heard this from a teacher who chided us, his students, for cramming for exams only on the night before. More than any other metaphor, this drove home completely for me the idea that you cannot have access to all the knowledge and the wisdom you should have been working to acquire the entire semester and expect to have it all at your fingertips by studying furiously overnight.

• Leave a tender moment alone.

Thank Billy Joel for this one.

Sometimes, it’s good to be distant, or at least to know when not to react in the usual way. Not everything needs to be said, or explained. There are many situations in life when the best response is a subtle, or even a quiet one. Restraint is a virtue.

I think of moments when all I wanted and needed was someone to just listen to me unburden, not to give me advice or tell me what was good or bad for me. Sometimes, withholding the need to advise or preach may be the most appropriate response. But it is one of the hardest things to do.

Silence itself says so much more about compassion, appreciation and understanding of what’s going on than a smart riposte. In fact, to comment at all may be intrusive and could violate the unfolding tenderness or fragility of the moment.

• To be good at something, you must be willing to be bad at it.

This I got from Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist’s Way, and I fully subscribe to it.

I know people who won’t try anything new — a sport, a hobby, a new skill or a new job — unless they are assured of success. And because of this, they end up not trying anything at all. They are too afraid to fail and too fearful of anything outside their comfort zone. They dread the uncertainty that learning new things invites.

But there’s the rub. You will never know if you are good at anything unless you try it. And the best way to try it is to be unconditional about the initial outcome. I say do it for curiosity, or because you’ve always wanted to. Give it your best shot, even if only to find out that it may not be for you.

• Sometimes it is better to be sorry than safe.

The author of this is an executive of MTV who had to explain to his board of directors in New York why he almost lost the rights of MTV to broadcast in a Scandinavian country. In hindsight, he explained that he had proceeded too quickly and his decisions were too bold for comfort and so he earned the ire of some officials.

While I generally believe in the wisdom of caution, I believe that if one always takes the safe route, he or she will not grow to full potential. There are times when we must seize the moment and courageously leap into the unknown. From our mistakes, we can at least learn something. Repetition and safe thinking are really just more of the same.

• Wanna feel abundance with just 10 dollars? Give it away!

I heard this from Neale Donald Walsch, author of the world-famous Conversations with God books, when he gave a talk in Manila a few years ago. He was underlining the point that one who can share what he possesses freely and spontaneously is rich and abundant regardless of how much he has. On the other hand, a person who is miserly and will not share anything despite owning millions or billions has a mindset mired in poverty and will never experience abundance. Amid his wealth, he feels only deprivation.

The!

2007-08-16T16:52:00.001+09:00

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion .

Through a Rapist's Eyes

2007-07-10T14:17:00.000+09:00

This is important information for females of ALL ages.

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this information is too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
- They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed.They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing.
- They will look for women who's clothing iseasy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
- Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK!
- Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can byoutsmarting them.
- If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the under arm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN.
- I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with a s much pressure pushing down on them as possible!
- The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Tips:
1. Tip fromTae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide inNew Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!). The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your headDO NOT DRIVEOFF, repeat:DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.. RUN, preferably in a zig-zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women H e walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors wh en they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

The Good Husband

2007-07-01T22:45:00.001+09:00

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door "

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS

When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.

2007-06-27T12:05:00.001+09:00

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How
is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him ?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more ? Where were you,
God, when my son needed you ?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be
out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers
lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it
to Sally.

The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it
might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the
last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's
belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he
had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to
sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter.

The letter said :

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or
stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again.

Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can
have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably
wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like,
you know.

Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me
as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any! of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.

Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a
letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you
know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you.

God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?'

"God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the
table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's
when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

Timeless Treasures

2007-06-27T12:03:00.001+09:00

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends.

Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me
just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,

"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.

You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.

The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Funny Photos 004: Pictures You Don't See Everyday

2007-06-26T11:22:00.001+09:00

What? Too many shakes?

Looks like UPS wins!!!

Oh, come on. Just one?

Starting with spelling

I think it was the FedEx driver

I bet this is by the school that teaches Arithetic

It must have been the FedEx driver

Sometimes a name change is the best idea...

Take me to the cleaners, baby!

Major dilemma in California

How do you get there from here?

Everything you need for your "shotgun" wedding!

It's a good deal, but... oh, the college costs!

??? McLogic gone wrong...

Pork the one you love?

Still Dead, Huh??? Go Figure...

What?

"Mass suicides...Cows going over the edge...tonight on Channel 3 News...."

Good Job!!

Load 'em up with burritos, Mom!!

I'm Confused...

How the hell can I write if I'm ILLITERATE!!!!

I can't even comment on this one

Beautiful, lush lawns of dirt...

Speling iz knot imprtunt fir astranawts

Make up your mind!!!

Don't drink and make signs...

Spell Me Write 001: Cool Signs

2007-06-21T11:55:00.001+09:00

BAKA DIPINDI SA KINAIN?!.. nyeheheh

Bagong Ani eh! hehehe

Wow Kol Shus! nyehehehe

Flease Pollow Rules! nyehehe

o ano pa hinihintay mo?!.. mura lang ang Bres! nyehehe

Eto malupit!!!.. pinag-isipan talaga yang mga "RULES TO BE FOLLOWS" NA YAN!.. nyehehehe

Funny Photos 003

2007-06-21T11:44:00.000+09:00

Ten Commandments for Your Computer Sanity

2007-06-21T11:03:00.000+09:00

1. Dont assume anything. Make some time to learn about securing your system.

2. Acquire and use a reliable antivirus program. Select an antivirus that has a consistent track record. Checkmark, AV-Test.org and TuV are among the most respected independent testers of antivirus software.

3. Acquire and use a reliable firewall solution. Again, independent reviewers are your best bet for reasonable choices. Some operating systems come with a firewall which only filters incoming traffic. Use a firewall that can control both incoming and outgoing Internet traffic.

4. Do not open e-mails coming from unknown or distrusted sources. Many viruses spread via e-mail messages so please ask for a confirmation from the sender if you are in any doubt.

5. Do not open the attachments of messages with a suspicious or unexpected subject. If you want to open them, first save them to your hard disk and scan them with an updated antivirus program.

6. Delete any chain e-mails or unwanted messages. Do not forward them or reply to their senders. This kind of messages is considered spam, because it is undesired and unsolicited and it overloads the Internet traffic.

7. Avoid installing services and applications which are not needed in day-by-day operations in a desktop role, such as file transfer and file sharing servers, remote desktop servers and the like. Such programs are potential hazards, and should not be installed if not absolutely necessary.

8. Update your system and applications as often as possible. Some operating systems and applications can be set to update automatically. Make full use of this facility. Failure to patch your system often enough may leave it vulnerable to threats for which fixes already exist.

9. Do not copy any file if you don't know or don't trust its source. Check the source (provenance) of files you download and make sure that an antivirus program has already verified the files at their source.

10. Make backups of important personal files (correspondence, documents, pictures and such) on a regular basis. Store these copies on removable media such as CD or DVD. Keep your archive in a different location than the one your computer is in.

No Sex Tonight

2007-06-21T11:02:00.000+09:00

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Di ta guae yong khee

2007-06-20T18:43:00.000+09:00

Malunong ba kayo tsanis?

Nag-aaral ako sa La Salle. Angdami kong kaklaseng Intsik. Apelyidong Uy, Lim, Tan, Co, Go, Chua, Chi, Sy, Wy, at kung anu-ano pa. Pero sa kanilang lahat kay Gilbert Go ako naging malapit. Mayaman si Gilbert kaya mangyari pa, madalas siya ang taya sa tuwing gigimik ang barkada.

Isang araw na-ospital ang kanyang ama. Sinamahan ko siya sa pagdalaw. Nasa ICU na noon ang kanyang ama dahil sa stroke. Naron din ang ilan sa kanyang malalapit na kamag-anak. Nag-usap sila. Intsik ang kanilang usapan.... hindi ko maintindihan.

Pagkatapos ng ilang minutong usap-usap, nagkayayaan nang umuwi. Maiwan daw muna ako at pakibantayan ang kanyang ama habang inihahatid nya ang kanyang mga kamag-anak palabas ng ospital. Lumipat ako sa gawing kaliwa ng kamang kanyang ama para ilapag ang mga iniwan nilang mga gamit na kakailanganin ng magbabantay sa ospital. Nang akmang ilalapag ko na ay biglang nangisay ang matanda.

Hinahabol nya ang kanyang hininga... Kinuyom nya ang kanyang palad at paulit-ulit siyang nagsalita ng wikang intsik na hindi ko maintindihan.

"Di ta guae yong khee".....
"Di ta guae yong khee"...
"Di ta guae yong khee"..

Paulit-ulit nya itong binigkas bago siya malagutan ng hininga.

Pagbalik ni Gilbert ay patay na ang kanyang ama. Ikinagulat nya ang pangyayari ngunit marahil ay tanggap na rin nya na papanaw na ang kanyang ama. Walang tinig na namutawi sa kanyang bibig. Ngunit iyon na yata ang pinakamasidhing pagluha na nasaksihan ko.

Nagpa-alam muna ako, dahil siguradong magdadatingin uli ang kanyang mga kamag-anak.

Sumakay ako ng taksi pauwi. Habang nasa taksi.. tinawagan ko ang iba pa naming kabarkada. Una kong tinawagan si Noel Chua. Dahil marunong si Noel mag-intsik, tinanong ko muna kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng "Di ta guae yong khee".

"Huwag mong apakan ang oxygen. "... "Bakit saan mo ba narinig 'yan?".

Japanese Tetris

2007-06-20T14:38:00.000+09:00

From here.

Mama has a Point

2007-05-10T03:19:00.000+09:00

Mama has a point.

Mrs. Jenkins comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner...who lives with a female roommate Vikki...During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Vikki came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your Mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
(This is more cute...)

Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama, which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Vikki, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama.

Lesson of the day ..... Don't Lie to Your Mother

Ten of the best April Fool's Day hoaxes: US museum

2007-04-05T14:44:00.000+09:00

NEW YORK (AFP) - From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.

Here are 10 of the top April Fool's Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.

-- In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.

-- In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill -- pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed -- in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans' celebrations were short-lived.

-- Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.

-- In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia's Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

-- In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.

-- In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon's voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.

-- In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0.

-- Burger King, another American fast-food chain, published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the "Left-Handed Whopper," specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original "right-handed" version.

-- Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed -- a technique they used to hunt penguins.

-- Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth's gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.

Filipino Jokes Part 4

2007-04-05T14:42:00.001+09:00

Sam Hold....Sam Knew

Miriam Santiago is the model of a watch to be made jointly by Japan 's Seiko and French's Patek Philippe. The brand name of the watch is "SEIKOPATEK".

PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?
JUAN: Pata!
PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?
JUAN; PATA galan ng kwento!

JINGGOY: Dad, bakit ba maalat at may asin sa dagat?
ERAP: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun hindi mapanis ang mga isda..

ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi gabi,
kasi lagi daw ako nanunuod ng basketball.
DOCTOR: sige halika may gamot ako para dyan.
ADIK: Wag muna dok, championship game na mamaya eh!

AMO: kelan lang tayo bumili ng toothpick, bakit naubos agad?
MAID: ewan ko po mam, kapag ako po ang gumamit sinosoli ko naman ah!

TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?
BOY#2: Naglalaba!
TITSER: Tama! Ano naman ang FUTURE TENSE?
BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!

IN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!

ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
2. Rats are normal house pets.
3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life
4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!

ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...

TATAY: Bagsak ka na nman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro?
Palaging may honor.
ANAK:Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
TATAY: Bakit naman?
ANAK: Matalino tatay nun!

A song for our Honorable (DAW!) na Congressmen and Senators,
Mayors and Governors:

"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"

INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.

MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:
PRESIDENT- pasimuno.
VICE PRESIDENT- kunsitidor.
SECRETARY- palsipikador.
TREASURER- kubrador.
AUDITOR- kasabwat.
PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER- tsismoso.
REPRESENTATIVES- pahamak.
SPOKESMAN- bolero.
SGT-AT-ARMS- tirador.
ADVISER- taga sulsol.
(mas tama di bah?)

JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!

ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir.
ERAP: Really? Thank you..

PILITA CORRALES - Asia 's Queen of Song.
LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia "

Old man: Doc, I'm 95 and my 18yr old wife is pregnant!
Doc: Let me tell you a story about an old hunter who, instead of his gun, brought his umbrella in the jungle, met a bear, aimed his umbrella, pulled the trigger and the bear dropped dead.
Old man: Impossible! Somebody else must have shot the bear!
Doc: Exactly!

"Nakita ko si GMA, matangkad naman pala siya"
- Mahal

Ano English ng "baka maswerte ako?"
"Beef Lucky Me"
Ano English ng "Maswerte ako Inay"?
"Lucky Me Mami"
Ano English ng "Maswerte ako sa lalake"?
"Lucky Me with Egg"!

Erap: pagbilan po!
Tindera: Ano yun?
Erap: Meron po ba kayong skats teyp, yung tig-piso?
Tindera: Meron?
Erap: Magkano po?

Bruno: Ano yang nasa papel nayan?!?!
Juan: Listahan ng mga takot sa aken!
Bruno: Bakit nakalista ako?!
Juan: Bakit laban ka?
Bruno: OO!!!
Juan: Edi burahin..problema ba yun?

Pedro na-late sa klase
Titser: Pedro late ka na naman!
Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko
Titser: problema ba yun? Edi i-advance mo!
Pedro: Opo?
Titser: O san ka pupunta?
Pedro: Mam, uwian na!

Quotes from the World's GREATEST WARRIORS:
"Veni! Vedi! Vinci!" - Julius Caesar
"I shall return!" - Douglas McArthur
"You give me peace in a lifetime of war" - Achilles
"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" - Muhammad Ali
"I will fight iniwahn, iniwer, initaym" - Manny Pacquaio

Geeks will Destroy the World

2007-04-03T16:41:00.000+09:00

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
- Nathaniel Borenstein

A Woman Should

2007-04-02T14:39:00.000+09:00

A woman should have...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to

A woman should have...
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A woman should have...
a youth she's content to leave behind.

A woman should have ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A woman should have...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

A woman should have...
One friend who always makes her laugh...
And one who lets her cry.

A woman should have...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family.

A woman should have...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A woman should have...
a feeling of control over her destiny.

Every woman should know...
how to fall in love without losing herself.

Every woman should know...
how to quit a job...
break up with a lover...
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

Every woman should know...
when to try harder...
and when to walk away.

Every woman should know...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

Every woman should know...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
But its over.

Every woman should know...
what she would and wouldn't do for love.

Every woman should know...
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it.

Every woman should know...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally.

Every woman should know...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing.

Every woman should know...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...
and a year.

C, however, is for Programmers

2007-03-23T19:38:00.001+09:00

COBOL was designed so that managers could read code.
BASIC was designed for people who are not programmers.
FORTRAN is for scientists.
ADA comes from a committee - a government committee no less.
PILOT is for teachers.
PASCAL is for students.
LOGO is for children.
APL is for Martians.
FORTH, LISP and PROLOG are specialty languages.
C, however, is for programmers.

- Al Stevens

Filipino Jokes Part 3

2007-03-22T18:18:00.001+09:00

Dalawang madre nire-rape!
Madre 1: Dyos ko, patawarin mo po sila...hindi nila nalalaman ang kanilang ginagawa!
Madre 2: Ay, yung sa akin marunong!!!!

Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina ung top 1 sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am ung katabi ko. Muntik na ako.

Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator:
Bush: Lets help one another.
Erap: Tayo'y magtulungan.
Bush: Let's strive together.
Erap: Tayo'y magsikap.
Bush: Because in union there is strength.
Erap: Dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!

Hating-gabi, hot si misis. Haplos niya ilong ni mister, kiliti niya sa leeg, saka bulong malambing sa tenga.
Misis: Love, ala na ko panty.
Mister: Huh! Cge, tulog na, bukas ibili kita.

Isang panget na babae, hinoholdap
Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na gamit mo!
Babae (sumigaw): RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: Anong rape? Holdap nga to eh!
Babae: Nagsa-suggest lang.

Pare 1: Pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare 2: Nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare 1: Swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare 2: Pare ako nanalo!

"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it because it is.
To do or not to is in the what, now or what else.
Without which there never to you!"
- Words of wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid

TEBAN: Pare sinong idol mo?
GOLIATH: Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
TEBAN: Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
GOLIATH: Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.

A variation of the above:
Erap writing on a slum book:
Favorite Actor:
Arnold Scharzene... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarze... ... (erase)
Arnold Schwarzz... ... (erase)
Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)
Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase)
Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
Arnold Clavio

Pare 1: Pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka
Pare 2: Madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo
(pare 1 sinundot ang tonsils ..)
Pare 1: Di pa rin e
Pare 2: Hmmmmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo
(pare 1 sinundot ang pwet ...)
Pare 1: Wala pa rin
Pare 2: Ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ...
(pag hindi ka pa masuka nyan ewan ko na!!!!!)

Sa isang ospital...
Lola (may cancer) : Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin?
Doc : Che-chemo lola.
Lola : Titi mo rin!!! Bastos ka!! walang modo!!

Holduper: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
Biktima: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!

Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
(nyahahahaha! )

Nahuling may kodigo ang estudyante.. .
Guro: Ano 'to?
Estudyante: Prayers ko po, ma'am!
Guro: At bakit answers ang nakasulat?
Estudyante: Naku! Sinagot na ang prayers ko! Yahoooooo!!!

Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No lang po

A girl from an exclusive school was asked:
Q: What's the difference between a penis and a kamote?
A: Yuck!!! I don't eat kamote!

69

2007-03-07T11:44:00.001+09:00

GIRL:mag-69 tayo dear!
BOY:pano yun?
GIRL:ganito lang...
(pmwesto n cla at bglang nautot ang girl ng 4 times)
BOY:ayoko na!DI KO N KYA UNG NATITIRANG 65

towel

2007-03-07T11:41:00.001+09:00

ano ang sinasabi pagkatapos ng sex???

SARAP!

hindi

I LOVE YOU!

hindi rin

ANG GALING MO!

hindi rin,

EH ANO??

eh di TOWEL bilis abot mo!!!

ngekkkk!!!!

Unemployed Graduate

2007-02-24T17:08:00.000+09:00

An unemployed graduate woke up one morning and checked his pocket. All he had left was $10. He decided to use it to buy food and then wait for death as he was too proud to go begging. He was frustrated as he could find no job, and nobody was ready to help him.

He bought food and as he sat down to eat, an old man and two little children came along and asked him to help them with food as they had not eaten for almost a week. He looked at them. They were so lean that he could see their bones coming out. Their eyes had gone into the socket.

With the last bit of compassion he had, he gave them the food. The old man and children prayed that God would bless and prosper him and then gave him a very old coin.

The young graduate said to them "you need the prayer more than I do".

With no money, no job, no food, the young graduate went under the bridge to rest and wait for death. As he was about to sleep, he saw an old newspaper on the ground. He picked it up, and suddenly he saw an ad vertisement for people with old coins to come to a certain address.

He decided to go there with the old coin the old man gave him. On getting to the place, he gave the proprietor the coin. The proprietor screamed, brought out a big book and showed the young graduate a photograph. This same old coin was worth 3 million dollars. The young graduate was overjoyed as the proprietor gave him a bank draft for 3 million dollars within an hour. He collected the Bank Draft and went in search of the old man and little children.

By the time he got to where he left them eating, they had gone. He asked the owner of the canteen if he knew them. He said no but they left a note for you. He quickly opened the note thinking it would lead him to find them.

This is what the note said: "You gave us your all and we have rewarded you back with the coin" Signed God the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost. 1 Kings 17:10-16; Matthew 11:28-30

Have you given all to Jesus Christ? If you haven't, do so today and he will surprise you.

Why We Should Go Home onTime

2007-02-24T16:58:00.000+09:00

Mr. Narayana Murthy is undoubtedly one of the most famous persons from Karnataka. He is known not just for building the biggest IT empire in India but also for his simplicity. Almost every important dignitary visits Infosys campus. He delivered an interesting speech during an employee session with another IT company in India.

He is incidentally, one of the top 50 Influential people of Asia according to an Asiaweek publication and also the new IT Advisor to the Thailand Prime Minister.

Extract of Mr. Narayana Murthy's Speech during Mentor Session:

I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I don't know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are addicted to the workplace.

Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long hours over the long term is harmful to the person and to the organization. There are things managers can to change this for everyone's benefit.

Being in the office long hours, over long periods of time, makes way for potential errors. My colleagues who are in the office long hours frequently make mistakes caused by fatigue. Correcting these mistakes requires their time as well as the time and energy of others. I have seen people work Tuesday through Friday to correct mistakes made after 5 PM on Monday.

Another problem is that people who are in the office long hours are not pleasant company. They often complain about other people (who aren't working as hard); they are irritable, or cranky, or even angry. Other people avoid them. Such behavior poses problems, where work goes much better when people work together instead of avoiding one another.

As Managers, there are things we can do to help people leave the office.

First and foremost is to set the example and go home ourselves.

I work with a manager who chides people for working long hours. His words quickly lose their meaning when he sends these chiding group e-mails with a time-stamp of 2 AM, Sunday.

Second is to encourage people to put some balance in their lives.

For instance, here is a guideline I find helpful:

1) Wake up, eat a good breakfast, and go to work.
2) Work hard and smart for eight or nine hours.
3) Go home.
4) Read the books/comics, watch a funny movie, dig in the dirt, play with your kids, etc.
5) Eat well and sleep well.

This is called recreating. Doing steps 1, 3, 4, and 5 enable step 2. Working regular hours and recreating daily are simple concepts. They are hard for some of us because that requires 'personal change'. They are possible since we all have the power to choose to do them.

In considering the issue of overtime, I am reminded of my oldest son.

When he was a toddler, if people were visiting the apartment, he would not fall asleep no matter how long the visit was, and no matter what time of day it was. He would fight off sleep until
the visitors left. It was as if he was afraid that he would miss something. Once our visitors' left, he would go to sleep. By this time, however, he was over tired and would scream through half the night with nightmares. He, my wife, and I, all paid the price for his fear of missing out.

Perhaps some people put in such long hours because they don't want to miss anything when they leave the office. The trouble with this is that events will never stop happening. That is life! Things happen 24 hours a day. Allowing for little rest is not ultimately practical. So, take a nap. Things will happen while you're asleep, but you will have the energy to catch up when you wake.

Hence, "LOVE YOUR JOB, BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE COMPANY STOPS LOVING YOU" --
- Narayana Murthy

Q & A by Kids

2007-02-24T16:49:00.000+09:00

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

I Hate Love

2007-02-24T16:46:00.000+09:00

"Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt
you, then ONE STUPID PERSON, wanders into your stupid life...

You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss
you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,
so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how perceptive" turns into a glass
splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a
real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.

I hate love.

The Power of Holding Hands

2007-02-24T16:41:00.000+09:00

The image attached has been a source of inspiration and hope to everyone who was in love, who is still in love, and who plans to be in love. This only shows that love is and will always be proof that there is something far greater than what we humans would ever truly understand... = ) This is the power of holding hands...

The truth about working in the IT industry

2007-01-26T11:17:00.001+09:00

1. We work weird (night) shifts...
Just like prostitutes.

2. They pay you to make the client happy...
Just like a prostitute.

3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny...
Just like a prostitute.

4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams...
Just like a prostitute.

5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you...
Just like a prostitute.

6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed...
Just like a prostitute.

7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell...
Just like a prostitute.

8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you...
Just like a prostitute.

9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain it...
Just like a prostitute.

10. Everyday when you wake up, you say: "I'm not going to spent the rest of my life doing this."
Just like a prostitute ........

Pick-up Lines: Guaranteed 101% Hit Rate!!!

2007-01-24T14:59:00.000+09:00

1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..

2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..

3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!

4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..

5. Can i take your picture??
*** coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for christmas!!

6. Exam ka ba??
*** gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!!

7. Lecture mo ba ako??
*** lab kasi kita..

8. Centrum ka ba??
*** kasi you make my life complete!!

9. Miss pwede ba kita maging driver??
*** para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko..

10. Mahilig ka ba sa asukal??
*** ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo..

11. Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard??
*** kasi type kita..

12. I hate to say this but... You are like my underwear..
*** coz i can't last a day without you!!

13. Ibibili kita ng salbabida..
*** kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko..

14. Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar??
*** single kasi ako eh..

15.Me lisensya ka ba??
*** coz you're driving me crazy eh..

16. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo ??
*** may sira ata relo ko.. pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko..

17. Grabe nakakatawa yung mga pick-up lines noh?? hahaha! May alam ka pa bang iba?? Wala na akong maisip eh..
*** coz all i ever think of is you..

18. I'm a bee..
*** can you be my honey??

19. Nakakatakot diba ang multo??
*** pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko..

20. Am i a bad shooter??
*** coz i keep on missing you..

21. May lahi ka bang aswang??
*** ang pangit mo kasi eh..

22. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight??
*** O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako??

23. Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh??
*** kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo mo na agad..

24. Excuse me.. Are you a dictionary??
*** because you give meaning to my life..

25. Bangin ka ba??
*** nahuhulog kasi ako sa'yo..

26. Pustiso ka ba??
*** kasi, can't smile without you..

27. Pagod na pagod ka na noh??
*** maghapon at magdamag kana kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko eh..

28. Me butas ba puso mo??
*** kasi natrap na ako sa loob, can't find my way out!!

29. Anung height mo??
*** ha?? pano ka nagkasya sa loob ng puso ko..

30. Hey, did you fart??
*** coz you blew me away!!

31. Sana "T" na lang ako..
*** para i'm always right next to "U"

32. Are you Jamaican??
*** kasi Ja-maican me crazy!!

33. Nde tayo tao..Nde tayo hayop. BAGAY tayo. BAGAY tlga tayo.

34. Ako ay isang exam.kaya sagutin mo na ako...

iPod Does Everything

2007-01-18T14:45:00.000+09:00

Got it here.

Ten Ways to Know It's Time to Go

2007-01-18T12:02:00.000+09:00

A Job-Change Checklist

By Caroline Levchuck

No matter how much you love your job, you may not love it all the time. Folks with the most fulfilling of professions can still find themselves battling a case of the "Sunday Night Blues." And, from time to time, we may all feel a sense of disenchantment with our employer or our co-workers.

But how can you know when it's really time to go? Here's a hint: If more than half of the following statements ring true for you, get your resume ready and start connecting with new opportunities today.

1. You start to dread Monday as soon as you leave work on Friday.

2. It becomes more and more difficult to get up for work each day, and tardiness becomes a way of life.

3. You cannot muster enthusiasm for anything related to work -- other than your paycheck.

4. You spend most of your time complaining to colleagues or about your colleagues.

5. You act defensive and even hostile in company meetings when there's little cause for it.

6. You interact less and less with co-workers, shutting yourself away in your office and avoiding opportunities to socialize.

7. You've used up all your sick, personal, and vacation days -- and the year isn't even half over.

8. You're constantly putting off until tomorrow what you could (and should) do today. When you do actually commit to doing your work, you feel resentful.

9. You're bitter about the company's success or that of a co-worker.

10. You have no professional goals related to your job, and you have a hard time even making some up at your obligatory performance review.

Saging Lang Ang May Puso

2007-01-16T14:38:00.000+09:00

Got it here.

Light A Million Candles

2007-01-16T12:18:00.000+09:00

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.
But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.
We do not need your money.
We need you to light a candle of support .
The more candles we light, the more powerful our voice becomes.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action.

Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.

Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.

Super Mario World by RSF

2006-12-26T12:49:00.000+09:00

URL here

Can You Find the C?

2006-12-21T14:52:00.001+09:00

I found them all. So they are definitely there.

Good luck - good for the brain!

Can you find the C? (Good exercise for the eyes!)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once you've found the C..........

Find the 6!

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6...

Find the N! (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Once you've found the N... make a wish!

OK, now that you've made a wish, it will come true.....all you have to do is send this on saying, "Can you find the C?"

New Drugs for Women

2006-12-18T10:43:00.001+09:00

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

Testimony: JULIE YAP DAZA

2006-12-15T10:43:00.001+09:00

I just want to share that two years ago, I went to see St. Therese's remains when it w as put on display in the CarmeliteChurch. I went there because I was curious what was this euphoria about the world's youngest saint whose job is to grant people's wishes?

So I went with friend Lyn and I must admit the life of the little child, Therese, intrigued me. It turned out she was a child who wanted to serve her God more than anything else in the world. Thus, in every chore that she did: even watering the plants, she performed it like it was for her master.

Since all her siblings were Carmelite nuns, she became a nun herself, the youngest (12?) to be allowed inside the conven t. So we're talking of a pure "uncorrupted soul". And then she died.

But she left a journal (suggested reading!) which contained all her thoughts about God, love and life. Since then she became the saint who grants all wishes.

Believe it or not, my wish was granted! Not because I said a novena but knowing about her life and reading her works inspired me and made me more patient and persevering.

According to religious beliefs, St. Therese was known as: "The Little Flower". Whenever you ask for intercession to her for a miracle, she will send you a rose in one form or another when the miracle has been granted. You may smell roses, receive a rose by visual means, etc.

REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the poem. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. This is a powerful novena. Do not break this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of reward. Let's continue praying for one another.

Make a wish before you read this poem.... (Did you make a wish?) If you don't make a wish, it won't come true.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.

Send this to 7 People within the next 5 min. and your wish will come true.

Jim

2006-12-12T16:44:00.000+09:00

A minister passing through his church
In the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar
And see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
A man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw
The man hadn't shaved in a while.

His shirt was kind a shabby
And his coat was worn and frayed,
The man knelt, he bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
Each noon time came this chap,
Each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
With robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
"What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see,
Because the factory is so far away;
As I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kind a what I say:

I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM
CHECKING IN TODAY."

The minister feeling foolish,
Told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime.

"Time to go", Jim smiled, said "Thanks."
He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
He'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
And met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
He repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME
CHECKING IN TODAY."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
That old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
He began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
Learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
Why Jim was so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up
and with a winsome smile;
"the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that in here all the while

Everyday at noon He's here,
A dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:

I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
CHECKING IN TODAY."

If this blesses you, pass it on Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you.

But for those of us who are already His, He not only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16)

Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones.

If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you before my Father." If you are not ashamed, pass this on . But only if you mean it.

Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." Phil 4:13

This is too good not to share - So this is me ... Just Checking In

36 CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

2006-12-12T14:20:00.000+09:00

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings. SEND IT FORWARD PLEASE, not backward!

"If Christmas isn't found in your heart, You won't find it under the tree. "

Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

10 Guidelines From God

2006-12-12T14:19:00.001+09:00

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy, and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you.

Please follow these 10 guidelines:

1. QUIT WORRYING.
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST.
Something needs to be done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME.
Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE.
Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now; I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME.
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH. I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE.
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT.
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND.
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF.
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget ...

Bananas

2006-12-12T14:18:00.001+09:00

This is interesting.

After Reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, and gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS:
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work?:
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6,B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium
banana snack.

Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,"eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts:
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

PASS IT ON TO YOUR FRIENDS
P.S. Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!

If You Love Someone: Original and New Versions

2006-12-10T23:41:00.001+09:00

THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS.....

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ..
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

Patient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat ....

Finance expert :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don't set her free.

MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnabulist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

Things that Hallmark Cards Don't Say

2006-12-10T23:34:00.001+09:00

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

We have been friends for a very long time ..
Let's say we stop?

I'm so miserable without you
It's almost like you're here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

Your friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

So your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
It's really good pay.

Cebuano Jokes Part 01

2006-12-10T23:28:00.001+09:00

1st night-Lola wear see through dress....Lolo did'nt react...
2nd night, Lola wear t-back...Lolo still deadma...
3rd night, Lola all naked...Lolo said; Unsa na imong gisoot? kunot2x lagi na?

Asawa nasakpan gikuan sa silingan....gipusil sa bana ang lalake, PATAY!
ASAWA : Sus, banaha ka! kung dili ka mag-usab sa imong batasan, mahurot atong silingan!!!

TITSER : Class, use AMONG in a sentence...
STUDENT 1 : AMONG the trees, the coconut is the best!
TITSER : Very good! How about you Kevin?
KEVIN : AMONG maid gikamang ni Papa

Electrical Engineering vs. Computer Science

2006-12-10T23:23:00.001+09:00

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a king summoned two of his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two slots in the top, a control knob, and a lever."What do you think this is?"

One advisor, an engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster," he said. The king asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?" The engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller, I would write a simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to one of 16 shades of darkness, from snow white to coal black. The program would use that darkness level as the index to a 16-element table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the end of the time delay, it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast. Come back next week, and I'll show you a working prototype."

The second advisor, a computer scientist, immediately recognized the danger of such short-sighted thinking. He said, "Toasters don't just turn bread into toast, they are also used to warm frozen waffles. What you see before you is really a breakfast food cooker. As the subjects of your kingdom become more sophisticated, they will demand more capabilities. They will need a breakfast food cooker that can also cook sausage, fry bacon, and make scrambled eggs. A toaster that only makes toast will soon be obsolete. If we don't look to the future, we will have to completely redesign the toaster in just a few years."

"With this in mind, we can formulate a more intelligent solution to the problem. First, create a class of breakfast foods. Specialize this class into subclasses: grains, pork, and poultry. The specialization process should be repeated with grains divided into toast, muffins, pancakes, and waffles; pork divided into sausage, links, and bacon; and poultry divided into scrambled eggs, hard- boiled eggs, poached eggs, fried eggs, and various omelet classes."

"The ham and cheese omelet class is worth special attention because it must inherit characteristics from the pork, dairy, and poultry classes. Thus, we see that the problem cannot be properly solved without multiple inheritance. At run time, the program must create the proper object and send a message to the object that says, 'Cook yourself.' The semantics of this message depend, of course, on the kind of object, so they have a different meaning to a piece of toast than to scrambled eggs."

"Reviewing the process so far, we see that the analysis phase has revealed that the primary requirement is to cook any kind of breakfast food. In the design phase, we have discovered some derived requirements. Specifically, we need an object-oriented language with multiple inheritance. Of course, users don't want the eggs to get cold while the bacon is frying, so concurrent processing is required, too."

"We must not forget the user interface. The lever that lowers the food lacks versatility, and the darkness knob is confusing. Users won't buy the product unless it has a user-friendly, graphical interface. When the breakfast cooker is plugged in, users should see a cowboy boot on the screen. Users click on it, and the message 'Booting UNIX v.8.3' appears on the screen. (UNIX 8.3 should be out by the time the product gets to the market.) Users can pull down a menu and click on the foods they want to cook."

"Having made the wise decision of specifying the software first in the design phase, all that remains is to pick an adequate hardware platform for the implementation phase. An Intel 80386 with 8MB of memory, a 30MB hard disk, and a VGA monitor should be sufficient. If you select a multitasking, object oriented language that supports multiple inheritance and has a built-in GUI, writing the program will be a snap. (Imagine the difficulty we would have had if we had foolishly allowed a hardware-first design strategy to lock us into a four-bit microcontroller!)."

The king wisely had the computer scientist beheaded, and they all lived happily ever after.

Hate Letter

2006-12-10T23:19:00.001+09:00

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original,unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Pls read with feelings...

October 1996

To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks [lakad] and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that. And then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thoughth your the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Marie Chan?

Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat a gai n that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

Love,

The Sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S. You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me. There you go.

Important Information about Cruise Control and Wet Roads

2006-12-10T23:10:00.001+09:00

NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE.

I wonder how many people know about this?

A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car.

A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence!

When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

The highway patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control.

The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.

If you send this to 15 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was all worth it. You
might have saved a life.

Smile (Funnies)

2006-12-08T10:55:00.000+09:00

(Click for bigger image)

What is your Greatest Wish Today?

2006-12-08T10:47:00.001+09:00

Please read A S A P !
And, please let me know the exact time you read this. It is mystical & honest.

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked:

"My child, what is your greatest wish for today?"

I responded:

"Lord, please take care of the persons who are reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much"

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.

This message works on the day you received it.

To some it may sound dumb, but the person who sent this to me must have been impressed with its timing. Let us see if it is true.

ANGELS EXIST, but sometimes, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

Pass this on to your true friends. SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY AT 11:11 IN THE EVENING. SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU BY PHONE OR WILL SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE WAITING TO HEAR. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN. SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF 4 PEOPLE.

(Click for a bigger image)

I'm in the 7% (Just a Title)

2006-12-08T10:39:00.001+09:00

When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you!

If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for him forward this w/ the title 7%.

93% of people won't forward this.

Pinoy Lessons In Linguistics

2006-12-08T00:41:00.001+09:00

1. Noong 1940's, kapag may bra ang babae, pinagbubulungan na at mababansagang malandi. Noon din ay may French perfume na ang tatak ay Eclat (silent T). Kaya ang taong maarte ay tinawag ng mga Pinoy na Eclat (pronounce the T). Ngayon kapag maraming tsetseburetse at kaartehan ganon din ang tawag, "Ang dami mo namang eklat." Kinalaunan, pinaikli pa ang eklat at naging ek-ek- "Ang tagal mo namang magdesisyon kung sasama ka o hindi! Ang dami mong ek-ek!"

2. Noong elementary ako, uso pa ang Wakasan, sinusubaybayan ko ang nobelang Tubig at Langis; ang Movie Especial na komiks kung saan kapanapanabik ang bawat eksena sa buhay ni Zuma na siya namang ama ni Galema. Sa komiks ang tawag sa babaeng nagbebenta ng panandaliang aliw ay baylerina. Kinalaunan, naging belyas, tapos naging English, hospitality girls tapos ngayon GRO.

3. Elementary ako nang makagisnan ko ang batiang "Give Me Five". Masyado yatang pormal ang handshake kaya "Give me Five, Man" ang pumalit. Tuwang-tuwa ang mga magulang kapag natutunan ng kanilang anak na paslit ang mag-give me five. Tapos sa mga American games, naging High Five o "Give me five, up here!" Hindi pahuhuli ang Pinoy basta galing sa America. Ang "Give me five, up here" ay naging "Appear". Halos lahat yata ng Pinoy babies ganito ang series of training, "Anak, where is the light; where is the moon?" Ang nadagdag, "Appear! Appear!" At dahil sa E.T. ni Speilberg, "Align, Align!" Again, tuwang-tuwa ang mga magulang.

4. Nang mag- Community Medicine ako noon sa isang slum area ng Sta. Ana, Manila. Ito ang top 3 gamit na hindi mawawala sa mga bahay, gaano mang kaliit ang barung-barong:

Panyong may tatak na panalangin ng El Shaddai
Television
Karaoke.

Kakambal na ng Pinoy ang pagkanta. Noon, kapag nagkakantahan, gamit ay gitara at song hits (Jingle). Napalitan ito nang 70's-80's ng minus one. Tapos, karaoke. Ngayon, videoke, at sa huling talaan ng pagkakaalam ko, 8 na ang namamatay sa "My Way". Naalala ko noong elementary pa ko, nagtayo ang kuya ko at ng kanyang mga kaibigan ng isang Combo. Ngayon, ang tawag sa singing group ay-- Band, hindi na Combo at ang Combo ngayon ay tumutukoy sa Jollibee o McDonald's promo.

5. Sa PGH, may tinatawag na Central Block. Nandoon ang Radiology Department kung saan ginagawa ang mga X-rays, Ultrasound, CT Scan at Radiotherapy.

Dito ko naobserbahan ang evolution ng mga pinoy medical terms. May mga pasyente o bantay na aking nasasalubong, ang madalas magtanong ng direksyon.

Mga Versions ng CT Scan: (Ganon na rin yon, no!)

"Dok saan po ba ang Siete Scan?"
"Doc saan po ba magpapa-CT Skull"
"Doc saan po ba CT Scalp"
"Doc saan po ang CT Scam?"

Madalas akong mapagtanungan ng direction papunta sa Cobalt Room. "Doc saan po ba ang Cobal" Yes, laging walang T, marami na ang ginagamit na term ay Cobal. Saan napunta ang "T".

Marami din kasing nagtatanong, "Doc, saan po ba ang papuntang X-Tray?"

Conclusion: Ang "T" ng Cobalt, ay napunta sa X-Tray.

7:00 am. Nagbigay ang kasamahan kong doktor ng instruction sa bantay ng pasyente, "Mister, punta po kayo sa Central Block at magpa-schedule kayo ng X-ray ng pasyente ninyo."

3:00 pm. Kadarating lang ng bantay. Nagalit na ang doktor, "Mister, bakit namang napakatagal ninyong bumalik? Pina-schedule ko lang naman ang X-ray ah."

Sumagot ang bantay, "Eh kasi po Doc, ang tagal kong naghintay sa gate, haggang sabihin ng guwardiya na sarado daw po ang Central Bank kasi Sabado ngayon." (Nasa Roxas Blvd ang Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, at sarado nga naman yon kapag Sabado,
( hihihihihi)

6. Nang mag-rotate ako as intern sa Pediatrics ng PGH, mahal na mahal talaga ng mga nanay ang kanilang mga anak na may sakit. Pilit nilang tinatandaan ang mga gamot at tawag sa sakit ng kanilang anak.

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ang mga gamot na iniinom ng anak niyo?"
Mrs 1: "Doc phenobarbiedoll po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po phenobarbital." (Gamot sa convulsion ang phenobarbital)

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang antibiotic na iniinom ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs 2: "Doc metromanilazole po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po metronidazole." (Gamot sa amoeba ang metronidazole)

Ang tawag sa recovery room ng PGH ay PACU (Post- Anesthesia Care Unit)
Doktor: "Mrs., tapos na po ang operasyong ng anak ninyo, punta na po kayo sa PACU."
Mrs 3: "Eh Doc, saan po sa Paco? Sa may simbahan po ba o sa may palengke?"

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang sinabi ng dating doktor kung ano daw ang sakit ng inyong anak?"
Mrs 4: "Eh Doc sabi po niya Tragedy of Fallot."
Doktor: "Ah baka po Tetralogy of Fallot (Isang congenital Heart Disease ang Tetralogy of Fallot)

Biglang nagtatarang ang isang nanay at sumigaw.
Mrs. 5: "Scissors! Scissors! Nag-sciscissors ang anak ko, Doc!"
Doktor: "Nurse, diazepam please, nag-seizure ang pasyente!

Doktor: "Mrs. ano daw po ba ang sakit ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs. 6: "May ketong daw po. In-examine ng doktor ang balat ng pasyente. Wala siyang makitang senyales ng ketong. Tumawag pa siya ng isang dermatologist para mag-examine nang husto. Wala talaga."
Doktor: "Mrs. sigurado po ba kayong ketong ang sakit ng bata?"
Mrs 6: "Eh iyon po ang sabi ng doktor niya dati. Mataas daw po ang ketong sa ihi dahil may diabetes."
Doktor: "Ah ketone po yon!" (Ang positive ketone sa ihi ay senyales ng kumplikasyon ng diabetes.)

Doktor: (Sa buntis na mrs. na nagle-labor) "Mrs. pumutok na po ba ang panubigan mo?"
Mrs 7: "Eh Doc, wala naman po akong narinig na pagsabog. " (Hanep!)

ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL CHARTS

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Love-Loss Lizards

2006-12-07T19:33:00.001+09:00

Italian Time

2006-12-07T18:41:00.000+09:00

Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered

2006-12-07T18:29:00.001+09:00

Bushcronium: Noxious New Element Discovered

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called 'morons',
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons'. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".

Bushcronium' s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming new, slave-like 'iso-dopes'. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates shrill, incoherent noises. Foxnewsium is related and monetarily connected to Bushcronium, but has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons. Both Bushcronium and Foxnewsium are considered to be inherently criminal, noxious and potentially deadly to all human life on earth.

Post-it: For Those Little Things You Might Forget

2006-12-07T18:21:00.000+09:00

7 Things To “Give” This Christmas

2006-12-07T02:29:00.000+09:00

Dear Good Friend,

Christmas is a time of giving. We give gifts, cards, cakes and other items.

Here are some other suggestions you might want to “give” in this season. Or any other time.

1. Give out the clothes that don't fit, household items you’ve never used in years, books you’ll never read, shoes you’d never wear again. In order for new things to come into your life, you must get rid of the old.

Aside from helping others, it will be liberating for you to let go of certain attachments that you have. It might hurt, yes, but like a grapevine, you need to be pruned to bear fruit.

2. Give up something. Is there a habit you have that has not done you any good? Smoking? Too much drinking perhaps? Watching too much TV? Gossiping? Spending too much time with friends when you should be with your wife and kids?

Having been raised with TV, I have never realized how much time I spent daily. At the very least, I watched the news, a series, a reality TV show, a basketball game and the late night news--an average of 3 to 4 hours per day on a work week. I used to justify that I need to be informed, entertained and educated. To tell you the truth, I got very little from TV.

One day I just decided to limit my TV time. Now, I am down to about 4 hours or less per week. The extra time I got I spent reading, being with the Gina and the kids, writing, doing other projects I’m interested in. It’s one of the best changes I’ve made in my adult life.

What would (or should) you give up today?

3. Give back to society, you community, to the people who helped you become what you are, no matter how high or low we are in our careers. There is always a way for you to give back. You may want to do that through monetary contributions, your time, talent or resources.

Some ideas:
• Volunteer in building homes for Gawad Kalinga,
• Going with a medical mission team to the Aetas
• Help tutor youth at Tuloy Sa Don Bosco
• Spend a day with the residents of Anawim
• Send cards to your former teachers who have influenced you much
• Donate to Tahanan ng Panginoon, Caritas Manila, He Cares Foundation and other institutions

4. Give in. Have you let pride get in the way of a relationship? Is there a rift that needs knitting? In most relationships, the agony and stress created by “sama ng loob” (hurt) and “kasalanan niya” (it’s his fault) is much greater than the issue itself. In our marriage, I’ve learned that cold shoulders caused me greater stress than the argument itself.

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter who is right, specially if it’s just over a simple choice between watching basketball or HBO, or eating pasta or Japanese.

5. Give off (God’s) light. Your house may have the brightest Christmas lights, a tree adorned with sparkling decors but your face, words, actions, attitude and smile should outshine all these. You cannot wear a glum face and say you have the Christmas spirit. Smile at no one and at everyone to brighten their Christmas season.

6. Give time for silence. Amidst the frenzy, stop. To be quiet. To be still. Let your soul rest.
Let your spirit be refreshed.

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

7. ForGive, ask forgiveness, be forgiven. Are you still carrying the hurts of last year? Let go and forgive. For all you know, the one who’ve hurt you has forgotten all about it and has moved on.

Are there people you’ve hurt? Find the courage to ask for forgiveness and heal the wounds you may have caused, knowingly or unknowingly. Work to make things better, show your sincerity.

Go to confession and prepare you heart for the birth of Jesus. Seek God's forgiveness for all the sins you've committed, for the wrongs you have done. There is no better time to see a priest
than now.

Give now.

Thanks and God bless

Jun Asis
Commissioned, Constructive and Connected Publishing Officer
www.mabutingbalita.net

Of Men and Women Part 01

2006-12-06T12:58:00.000+09:00

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot m ore willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The Guys' Rules

2006-12-06T11:27:00.001+09:00

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down We need it up, you need it down You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1 . If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a CLUE!!!

Growing old and Growing up

2006-12-03T00:30:00.000+09:00

Growing old and Growing up

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose.

I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education! And now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Everyday for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jitter! y. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me!! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it!, He, will bring you through it.

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

It is good that I know you!

The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks

2006-11-28T13:51:00.000+09:00

#10 Climbing clock. It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.

# 9 Wake Up Puzzle. You have to build the puzzle to make it stop.

# 8 Wake or Curse. You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.

# 7 High Tech. This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.

# 6 Find The Pin. You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.

# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem. The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.

# 4 GI Joe. You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.

# 3 Floating Around. Will float around the room until you'll catch it.

# 2 Kaboom. This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.

# 1 Hide and Seek. The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.

I've Learned...

2006-11-25T13:21:00.001+09:00

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class..

I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned...
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned...
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned...
That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned.....!
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned .
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Photo Moments 02: Center of the Bible

2006-11-24T16:36:00.001+09:00

AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME,

The pictures are awesome....but wait until you read the words

Q: What is the shortest chapter in th e Bible?

A: Psalms 117

Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?

A: Psalms 119

Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible?

A: Psalms 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118

Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118

Add these numbers up and you get 1188

Q: What is the center verse in the Bible?

A: Psalms 118:8

Q: Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives?

The next time someone says they would like to find God's perfect will for their lives and that they want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the center of His Word!

Psalms 118:8

"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."

Now isn't that odd how this worked out (or was God in the center of it)?

Before sending this I said a prayer for you. Got a minute? 60 seconds for God?
All you do is say a small prayer for the person who sent you this........

Father God bless my friend in whatever it is that you know he/she may be needing this day!
And may his/her life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen

Then send it on to 10 other people. Within hours 10 people have prayed for you, and you caused a multitude of people pray to God for other people.

Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life...

When things get tough, always remember...
Faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it !!

God Bless You!

Water or Coke

2006-11-24T10:47:00.001+09:00

WATER OR COKE?
Eye Opening Information!

This is really an eye opener... Water or Coke? We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before.

WATER

75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

And now for the properties of Coke

In many states (in the USA ) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.
To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion
To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for sumptuous brown gravy.
To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

For Your Info

The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is... Would you like a Coke or a glass of water?

October 2005 Little Pandas

2006-11-22T11:59:00.000+09:00

For those that haven't seen the 16 pandas born in Oct 2005...

Have You Ever Seen Porcupine Babies??

2006-11-22T11:57:00.001+09:00

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN PORCUPINE BABIES??

GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO LABOUR PAINS!!

Horoscope 2006

2006-11-22T11:53:00.001+09:00

"Horoscope" 2006 If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating! The "meanings" are at the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like California or Florida more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)

Answers

1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue- You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum &your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Se! p: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a different direc! tion, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you send this to! five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday

Never Light Candles in an Air-Conditioned Room

2006-11-22T11:52:00.001+09:00

Prevention is better than cure.

A friend (Saudi) in our group (Aramco) passed away last week due to carbon -monoxide poisoning. It happened when she lighted an aroma therapeutic candle for the night in a room with Air-conditioner ON.

Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the candle cannot fully oxidise & thus forms dangerous carbon monoxide.

Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the lungs, resulting in the Person dozing off to a state of unconsciousness & eventually death in less than an hour, depending on the room size.

This email is to make you aware of such danger when lighting aroma therapeutic candles in any un-ventilated rooms.

Please forward this e-mail to all your loved ones and friends.

Why We Love Children

2006-11-22T11:44:00.001+09:00

(Click pictures to enlarge)

Out of the mouths of babes

Jesus on the Beach

2006-11-22T11:39:00.001+09:00

The 3 pictures below are a must see.. it's unbelievable that someone created this from sand.. take a look. How awesome.

Pictures below are from a beach in Maryland. Isn't the artwork awesome? Be sure to open up your screen all the way. The man creates new ones each day, as the ocean washes away his work every day.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Feed your Brain 01

2006-11-22T11:36:00.001+09:00

Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.

More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........ if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again. Next, let's play with some words. What do you see?

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil).

Now, what do you see?

You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again!

Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?

What do you see here?

This one is quite tricky! The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.

Last one. What do you see?

You probably read the word ME in brown, but....... when you look through ME you will see YOU! Do you need to look again?

Test Your Brain

This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every " F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University .

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on!!

Filipino Jokes Part 2

2006-11-21T16:57:00.003+09:00

NANAY: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang bilangin?
ANAK: Mas bobo si tatay nay,kasi narinig ko minsan sabi, "tama na inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko."

********************************
Letter to OFW dad:

"Luv, tnx sa padala mo, hapi c nene kasi tobleron ang baon sa skul. ung nike suot na ni jr. next tym wag ka na padala NIVEA MILK. di nila type pait daw, ako tuloy ang umubos."

********************************
MISTER: ano ang pagkain natin?
MISIS: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
MISTER: isang pirasong tuyo?ano pagpipilian ko?
MISIS: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

*********************************
IDD call from US:

HUSBAND: hon musta ang tindahan?
WIFE: dept store na!
H: ang tuba-an?
W: KTV bar na!
H: and mga trickad?
W: taxi na!
H: ang dalawa kong anak?
W: LIMA na!

*********************************
Ssweethearts watchin' da sky...
GUY: ano ang horoscope mo?
GIRL: anong huruskup?
GUY: yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.
GIRL: ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!

*********************************
TITSER: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
PUPIL: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
TITSER: very good, translate it in tagalog.
PUPIL: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

*********************************
DONYA: bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu!
MAID: walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna na kayong mag almusal!

*********************************
SAYINGS TO LIVE BY:
1. birds of the same feathers, are the same birds
2. do not do unto others what you can't do
3. an apple a day is not an apple at night
4. when the cat is away the mouse is alone
5. if others can do it, don't help
6. tell me who ur friends are and i'll tell u mine
7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon
8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay may naglalaba

Size of the Earth

2006-11-21T16:57:00.001+09:00

Compare the size of the earth with other planets

Now compare it with Uranus & Neptune

Now Earth against Sun

Against Sun, Earth is like a dot
Think !! Where do you find yourself now??
Now imagine the creator of this universe???

Don't tell God how big your problems are. In fact tell your Problems how big God is.

Things are not What They Seem to be

2006-11-21T16:43:00.000+09:00

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.

Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.

After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.

Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.

The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.

Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.

Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until some time later...

Oooo
Some people ( )
come into our lives ) /
and quickly go.. (_ /

oooO
( ) Some people
\ ( become friends
\_ ) and stay awhile...

leaving beautiful Oooo
footprints on our ( )
hearts... ) /
( _/

oooO
( ) and we are
\ ( never
\_ ) quite the same
because we have made a good friend!!

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!

I think this is special...live and savor every
moment... This is not a dress rehearsal!

(\ /)
( \ __ / )
( \ () / )
( / \ ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
( / \ / \ ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
/ \ SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
( ) SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU
____

Parang Tayo.....Pero Hindi

2006-11-21T16:14:00.000+09:00

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex.

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?

Sila kaya?

"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.

He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.

Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. A nd for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.

Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.

Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."

Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.

Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.

Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang.

This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.

Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?

What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?

What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me,

"Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya ...

Miracle of His Mercy and Love

2006-11-21T16:13:00.001+09:00

THAT JESUS BLESSINGS BE WITH YOU, TO GUIDE YOU AND PROTECT YOU.

Sons That Make Their Parents Proud!

2006-11-21T16:04:00.001+09:00

Why Worry?

2006-11-21T16:03:00.001+09:00

Why Worry? There are only two things in life to worry about:

Whether you are well
or whether you are sick. If you are well,

then there is nothing to worry about. But if you are sick,

there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to get well

or whether you are going to die.

If you get well,

then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die,

there are only two things to worry about: Whether you are going to go to heaven
or whether you are going to go to hell. If you go to heaven,

then you have nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell,

you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends,

that you won't have time to worry! So, Why Worry?
Be Happy

Do not cry if the Sun sets at the end of the day, because the tears will not let you enjoy the beauty of the Stars.

Better send it back to me ASAP.

Ok, this is what you have to do...:-)
Send this to ALL of your friends!
But you HAVE to send this within 1 hour from when you open it!
Now.................Make A wish!!!!!!
Are you wishing????

You should be done by now!!!
Last chance!!

I hope you made your wish!
Now then, if you send this to
1 person~ your wish will be granted in 1 year
3 people~6 months
5 people~ 3 months
6 people~ 1 month
7 people~ 2 weeks
8 people~ 1 week
9 people~ 5 days
10 people! ~ 3 days
12 people~ 2 days
15 people~ 1 day
20 people~ 3 hours
AND, if you are my true friend you will send this bac k to me within 3 hours!
*** If you delete this after you read it .. you will have 1 year of bad hair days! :-( But... if you send it 2 your friends... you will automatically have 3 years of go od luck!!! :-) ***

Good Morning Blessings

2006-11-21T15:27:00.000+09:00

We can pretend we are sharing a good cup of coffee, while enjoying....
Good Morning Blessings...

If it stops with you, then the blessing will disappear.

The blessing will only keep working if it is continuously passed around.

If you are a recipient of a blessing, Keep the blessing working

by being the source of blessing to other people. This morning when I awoke

And saw the sun

above, I softly said, "Good morning, Lord, Bless everyone I love"

Right away I thought of you and said a loving prayer,

That He would bless you specially,

and keep you free from care.
I thought of all the happiness a day could hold in store,

I wished it all for you because no one deserves it more. I felt so warm and good inside,

my heart

was all aglow. I know God heard my prayers for you,

He hears them all, you know.

You have two choices...

smile and close this page

Or pass this along

to someone else to spread the good feelings.

I know what I did!!

Ina ng Laging Saklolo

2006-11-21T14:54:00.000+09:00

BLESSED VIRGIN MARY
Ina ng Laging saklolo (pls do not ignore)

In Honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary:
Mother of Perpetual Help, please help our parents, brothers, sisters and other people of the world. Let us pray to the Mother of Perpetual Help.

Online Buddy Day

2006-11-21T14:17:00.001+09:00

Online Buddy Day

Forward to all your friends, including me. And don't tell me you're too busy for this. Don't you know the phrase "Stop and smell the flowers"? See how many "bouquets" you end up with!

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!

You are so special!

"Today is world's online buddy day. Send this to your online friends even me if I'm one of them and see how many you get today" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we come to the edge of the light we know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of this we can be sure ... either God will provide something solid to stand on or ... .. we will be taught to fly.

10 Roses for You.

You are receiving these roses because you are a special person!
Each rose symbolizes a special wish from me to you.

One Rose for Long Friendship

One Rose for Unconditional Love

One Rose For Financial Wealth

One for Everlasting Happiness

One for Success

One for Knowledge

One for Beauty, inner and outer

One for Family

One for Honesty

And the last one for a long and healthly life.

For every friend you send these roses to, your wish will come one month sooner.

This is a friend test. Send this to as many friends as you possibly can especially the person that sent to you and if you get it back, you truly will know who your friends are.
You have 30 seconds start.

Go Girl!

2006-11-21T13:49:00.003+09:00

------------------Girls--------------
-----------are like apples------
-------on trees. The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.-----
---The boys dont want to reach---
--for the good ones because they--
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that arent as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to
---- come along, the one who's-
----------- brave enough to-----
---------------climb all---------
---------------the way--------
--------------to the top--------
-------------of the tree.---------

You have been hit. You have been considered One of the 15 MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN on my friends list. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 15 BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. If you break the chain you'll have UglyNess for 10 years . So hit 15 BEAUTIFUL WOMEN on your friends list and let them know they are BEAUTIFUL ! YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Yesterday is a cancelled check; Tomorrow is a promissory note; Today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely. -

A Penny

2006-11-21T13:49:00.001+09:00

You always hear the usual stories of pennies on the sidewalk being good luck, gifts from angels, etc. This is the first time I've ever heard this twist on the story. Gives you something to think about.

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband.

He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.

Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.

He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."

She read the words " United States of America ."

"No, not that; read further."

"One cent?"

"No, keep reading."

"In God we Trust?"

"Yes,"

"And?"

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message.

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful!

And, God is patient...

Have a blessed day!

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:

1 cross
3 nails
--------
4 given

That's the whole gospel message simply stated. Take 60 seconds give this a shot! Let's just see if Satan stops this one.

Bored in Empty Classroom

2006-11-21T12:23:00.001+09:00

What does three men do when they have

EMPTY CLASSROOM + LOTS OF FREE TIME + CAMERA = CRAZY PICTURES

Simple friend VS Real Friend

2006-11-21T12:17:00.001+09:00

The difference between "Simple Friends" and "REAL FRIENDS"!

This is GOOD. I expect it back too!

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself (and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!)

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects! you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it. A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!

Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you get it back you have no beginning, no end.

It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.

What A Woman Should Have

2006-11-21T12:14:00.001+09:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and
a black lace bra..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who
Always makes her Laugh...
And one
Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture
not previously owned by
Anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will
Make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over
Her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love
Without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and
WHEN TO WALK AWAY..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood
May not have been
Perfect..but;
Its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and
Wouldn't
Do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
even if
She doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't
Take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month..
And a year...

Men are like...

2006-11-21T12:13:00.001+09:00

Men are like....

Men are like ....Laxatives .... They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like ....... Bananas .... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like .....Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like ..... Blenders .. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like ..... Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like ...... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like ....... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like ...... Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like ...... Popcorn .... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like ..... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Men are like ...... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like .... Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

St. Theresa's Prayer

2006-11-21T12:12:00.001+09:00

St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

They've found Her

2006-11-21T12:11:00.001+09:00

They've found Popeye's Mom

Photo Moments Part 01

2006-11-21T12:09:00.001+09:00

DESPERATE FOR A TICKET TO THE WORLD CUP

BEST GOOGLE AD

BEST T-SHIRT DESIGN

LEVI'S AD

TIMOTEI AD

WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS RIDE

FRIDGE MAGNET

QUEEN OF THE BLONDS